Adoption Through the Rearview Mirror is unlike any other adoption book I have read—and I have read many! Most books about adoption encourage Christians to follow God’s calling to care for orphans (James 1:27), give advice on attachment with children who have been adopted, or tell a family’s personal adoption story, with struggles followed by a happy ending. This book is different.

Karen Springs worked in the Ukraine for 14 years, helping American families adopt Ukrainian orphans. She regularly blogged one-page happy-ending stories about how various families had embraced children and changed lives. Later on, however, she returned to the United States and set out on a four-month road trip across the country. She visited 63 of the families with whom she had worked to learn how the adopted children and their families had really fared in the years since the adoption. The trip was eye-opening to her.

This is a remarkably honest book about adoption. The author recognizes that all children who were adopted have experienced trauma. At the very least, they have experienced the loss of their birthparents, and for those adopted internationally, the loss of the country and language that is familiar to them. Beyond that, a high percentage of those children experienced trauma while they were still with their birth families and/or at an orphanage or other institution while waiting for adoption. 

The author learns from parents about the rose-colored glasses they wore when adopting, convinced that love and prayer would make everything work out well. They soon learned that early trauma cannot be wiped out by placement in a loving family. They would need more prayers, patience, and unconditional love than they had ever imagined.

Am I concerned that Adoption Through the Rearview Mirror may dissuade parents from adopting vulnerable children? Yes, and the author shared that concern as well. But I also see a number of benefits to a book like this:

• Adoptive parents who feel isolated and blame their parenting skills for their children’s troubles will find comfort and hope. They will know they are not alone—even caring, dedicated, and well-prepared parents have great challenges raising children who have experienced trauma. But there are surprising treasures that can be found on the other side, even if those treasures aren’t revealed until the child is an adult.
• Extended family members of adoptive parents who read this book will, hopefully, better understand why those parents can’t always make phone calls, come to family events, and the like as they focus on parenting challenges. With understanding, extended family members could be more helpful in the process.
• Reading this book will lead those who tend to see misbehaving children and judge parenting skills to instead understand and support those parents.
• Members of faith communities who read this book might look for concrete ways to reach out to and support not only foster families, but also adoptive families.
• After reading this book, many couples considering adoption will, I pray, still proceed with adoption. But they will do so with more realistic expectations, more preparation, and more resources and support in place in advance, and may experience less isolation and self-blame as they parent their children.

Karen Springs has done a great service to many by writing this book. I highly recommend it to prospective adoptive parents, those who have adopted, and all who care about them.

- Jane Mose