1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. It does not brag. It is not arrogant. It does not behave indecently. It is not selfish. It is not irritable. It does not keep a record of wrongs. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (EHV)
It is shocking statistic that half of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Think about the stress of a “normal” marriage. Two individuals and their lives must come together to make one single new life. Troubles arise when the husband and wife fail to see this important change from two to one. Each wants to keep their separate identity and the way they live their lives. But for marriages that have children with disabilities and other challenges, they not only have to change their way of life from two to one, but now they have a child who needs an inordinate amount of attention and care.
The added stress comes when one partner does not think the other is helping enough. The love they have for each other can quickly deteriorate into anger and blame. The love they promised at their wedding, maybe even having 1 Corinthians 13 as part of the service, is quickly forgotten. Instead of taking up love, they do the opposite. They no longer are patient with each other. They say unkind words to and about each other. They keep a record of wrongs and bring it up every time there is an argument.
How can you stop the cycle of bitterness and resentment and not become one of the statistics? Let’s look at the love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13. But before you hang your head because you have not fulfilled this chapter, remember that this chapter is describing God’s love for us, which we imitate in our love for one another. God’s love is perfect and does not hold any of our wrongs against us. His love endured the cross and scorned its shame for each one of us. God’s love does not keep a record of our sin but makes us a pure and radiant bride!
The love God has for us is the love he patterns for us to follow in our marriages. The love God has for husbands and wives, that he would forgive all the ugliness of our selfishness in our marriages, spurs us on to love as he has loved us and to forgive one another just as he forgave us. Remembering God’s love for us is the way for husbands and wives to remain as one, especially with the added stress of caring for a child with special needs.
Take the time to reconnect to God’s love daily to keep the resentment and anger out of your marriage. The Lord’s love will keep you as one!
Dear Lord of love, come and love my spouse and me with the love that forgives our selfishness. Instill in us the same love so that we put each other’s needs ahead of our own. Continue to bless us as we take care of the children you have given us so that we can grow in our love. Help us forgive as you have forgiven us. Amen.
by Patrick Feldhus